When you delete Tinder

I am officially throwing in the towel on finding any kind of companionship here. There is no point in putting  myself through unnecessary emotional distress. I mean, that's not even why I came out here in the first place anyway. I came here to figure out what I wanted my next career step to be. Which I still think I don't know what it is. I thought I did, but I love to do this thing called second guessing myself. If you have never tried, you absolutely must. Makes life more interesting. But anyway, here is my towel and my white flag. Do with it what you will. I no longer need them.

So I am deleting all of my "dating" apps. They don't do anything but cause trouble for me. I talk to these guys for a few days, then they are gone. What is the point? To pass the slowing time? I don't even hang out with them. Or go on dates. I just text them or chat with them. But I always feel inadequate after. And that is where my issue lays. Why should I put myself in a position where I feel like I am less than I am? I know that I am not, but sometimes as woman, we feel the need to justify why our need is not being fulfilled. And the one that ends up suffering the most is ourselves. I don't think it's fair. Especially because it's coming from within.

I mean, whenever we are interested in someone and get rejected, we automatically assume that it is something wrong with us. We make ourselves crazy thinking how we can change in order to find companionship. It's in our nature. Yet it breaks my heart to see us go through this types of emotions. So I say fuck it. I am done with feeling like I don't have control. I mean, if a guy stops talking to me or gives me mixed signals, then I'm done. There are more fish in the sea. And I don't know if you remember, but the sea is pretty endless. So fuck this. Fuck that. And do what you got to do boo.

But total side note, the guy from my last entry is starting to get his shit together. After we had a long conversation about why he is being kind of a prick, I mean, he straight hit me with the, "I want to get to know you better, but I don't want to lead you on." Apparently he thought I wanted to be in a relationship with him. Which don't get me wrong, I would not mind because I like the way he makes me feel. But I just wanted to get to know him better and hang out. You know, go with the flow. LOL. But he is making more of an effort. Which is nice. And I know I probably sound hypocritical right now, but fuck it. This is my blog. And I say what I want. LOL.

Here's some photos.

A peguin on a mission

I still can't decide if this thing is cute or not. I just don't understand it. 

Here's one hating ass bird. 

Don't know what these birds are, but turns out they do have 2 legs and not just 1. Fun fact of the day. That's one hell of a leg day bro.